i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm too high and old for this...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
