I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
