FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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