I can tuck mytits in my pants
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
