I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
