he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
