420 ftw
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
