I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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