That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
