No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
