I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
