I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Sorry about my life...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
