The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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