community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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