At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize