Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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