I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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