Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Your cock deserves a montage
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
