Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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