I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
