I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
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