You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
