We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
