You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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