Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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