you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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