I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
