And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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