I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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