hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
