i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
