i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
