Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Your cock deserves a montage
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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