We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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