Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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