Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
it's great music for shaving your balls
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
