Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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