i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
