i need an iv and a liver transplant
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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