My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
