I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
