I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
