when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
