i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
