He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
pray to the hookup gods
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
