This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
no you cant smoke seaweed
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
