bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
