Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
