There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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