Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
