I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
