its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
